When to Seek Professional Help for Your Relationship
Conflicts are normal in a relationship. For some, it's about time and priorities. For others, it's about finances. Having arguments from time to time is fine—in fact, it's part of being in a healthy relationship—but when it gets too much, it can lead to the couple pushing each other away to the point of breaking up.
The last thing you want is for you and your partner to break up over something that can be resolved. If you find that you two can't resolve your issues alone, then maybe it's time to consider seeking the help of a professional.
Why professional help matters
There's still a stigma surrounding getting help. But now that it's easy to reach out to a professional, more and more couples are trying it out. With everything becoming increasingly digitized, most processes are accessible over the internet—including online marriage counseling and couples therapy. In fact, this has allowed many careers in psychology to flourish in response to the growing demand for their services. And apart from psychologists, this has also impacted the demand for nurses who specialize in mental health services as well. As a result, many practitioners pursuing careers in nursing are increasingly choosing to focus on providing clinical patient care for those with mental health issues. As mental health specialists, this type of nurse could be a good point of call if one person feels they need to see someone about their mental health, especially if they think it is affecting their relationship. In short, there’s definitely no shortage of professionals who can help you out. And in today’s remote world, they may even be more adept at speaking over a computer. Specialists can help you break down the issues you're struggling with, as well as observe interactions between couples and offer advice and tools to help resolve current and future conflict.
Whether carried out online or in-person, couples counseling can help you overcome issues or behaviors that may be ruining the relationship, so it's something you should definitely consider.
Signs you may need couples therapy
Recurring fights
If you find that you and your partner keep having the same arguments over and over, then it's time to get a professional to intervene and help break the cycle. Counselors can teach you how to identify which issues are situational and which are perpetual. For recurring fights that cannot be easily solved, therapy can aid in equipping you with the tools to manage them. Repetitive loops are hard to get out of, but with counseling, you'll be able to learn how to diffuse disagreements in a healthy manner.
Lack of sex
More often than not, lack of sex also means a lack of intimacy or connection, which can continue beyond the confines of a bedroom and bleed into the other parts of your marriage. Most couples deem this is as a touchy subject, leading to it getting ignored and creating more issues. Problems around physical intimacy can sometimes feel embarrassing or frightening, but avoiding talking about it will destroy your relationship even further. If you had a formerly satisfying sex life but has since turned into a source of tension or frustration, therapy can help navigate what's going on, facilitate an awkward conversation, and discover solutions that would work for the both of you.
A big transition
Even if you think you and your partner are getting along, a massive change in your lives can alter the dynamic of your relationship and may create friction. It can be a child moving out, incurring illness, or even just a new job. There are many fears surrounding these big changes and a therapist will help you navigate each one. That way, the both of you can ride the waves and hold each other's hand through the major transition, coming out stronger instead of far apart.
There's no doubt about it, therapy is a must for couples looking to resolve a current problem or prevent the exacerbation of any issues. It can even be of help to happy couples as a form of "check-up," or if they wish to improve their connection and the quality of their relationship. But it also goes without saying that you shouldn't wait until it gets too much before you enlist the help of an expert. Early intervention can save your relationship, allowing you to move on from your problems right away and make your union better. For happy couples, therapy can help you maintain and cultivate what you already have, the bottom line being, seeing a counselor will benefit you, whatever your relationship looks like right now.
Specially written for StrongerMarriage.org