Understanding the Impact of Self-Esteem on Relationship Satisfaction
Relationship satisfaction has a lot to do with the stability and the connection between each person. We each have the ability to be independent from one another. However, being emotionally connected can help unite a couple 3. It’s very important to have a healthy balanced relationship where both partners are satisfied and have their individual needs me. We know that relationship satisfaction determines the length and duration of the relationship 3. But, do we know that self-esteem itself can affect not only the individual, but their relationship as well?
Low vs. High Self-Esteem
Having either low or high self-esteem can impact your relationship. When a partner has low self-esteem, they can often feel unappreciated, feel lonely, become distant from their partner, and even have higher risks for anxiety or depression 5. Feeling loneliness within a romantic relationship can lead to social isolation, which may impact the quality of the relationship or cause a strain in the relationship 4. On the other hand, partners with high levels of self-esteem tend to be more aware, have a positive outlook, have self-efficacy, and are at loser risks for mood disorders 5. Therefore, we can see how having either low or high self-esteem can influence your relationship.
Things That Impact Self-Esteem
It’s completely normal for one’s self-esteem to change throughout time. There are many factors that can impact, either positively or negatively, a person’s self-esteem. For example, things like: addiction, lack of confidence, family dynamic, attachment styles, receiving compliments, acts of service, etc. can impact how one may view themselves.
So many of us can struggle with our self-esteem for various reasons. One great way to improve self-esteem and remove a negative mindset is through gratitude 1. Sometime simple like naming great memories you’ve had throughout your life and expressing how you’ve felt in that moment, can help us refocus our lives and acknowledge the positive aspects, instead of the negative. Individuals who have high self-esteem can better handle negative events in their lives through being mindful of their emotional responses and adopting more positive coping strategies 5.
In a relationship, you can help your partner build their self-esteem by showing genuine interest in their lives. For example, do your best to recognize the changes that your partner is making, give them a compliment, or show your love and appreciation through a gift or time spent together. Engage in their interests, and show that you care and support your partner. These small things can go a long way in helping them boost their self-esteem, and will likely strengthen your relationship in the meantime.
A Word of Caution
One additional thing that can often negatively impact self-esteem is that of social comparison, especially through social media. It’s not uncommon for couples to compare their own relationship to others they see through social media 2. It’s important to note that sharing about your relationship on social media is not inherently bad. Many couples love to share with others their happiness and appreciation for their partner. However, if social media starts to turn from a positive environment to a negative one, that’s when social media may damage a relationship. When too much comparison is occurring, there may be an impact on relationship satisfaction and perhaps even lead to doubt in the relationship 2. Do your best to communicate with your partner if you may be experiencing doubt. Take a good look at what factors may be influencing your feelings and discuss them with your partner.
Regardless of the reason or other factors as to why you may struggle with self-esteem, it’s important to be open with yourself, and communicate with your partner. It’s helpful when both partners know where each other stands, so together, they can work to better improve relationship satisfaction, self-esteem, and work to meet each other’s needs.
Written by: Yahaira Gaytan and Lauren Andrus