Factors That Impact Self-Esteem and Relationship Satisfaction

Self-esteem can be viewed as an individual's own self-evaluation or self-worth. Self-esteem tends to come from one’s own personal belief or opinion about themselves. These thoughts and opinions may negatively or positively affect one’s confidence. Self-esteem can often impact an individual’s daily life, such as how they interact with others, or their relationships, etc.

Additionally, self-esteem can also influence how an individual perceives their quality of life, or what research calls “life satisfaction”. How satisfied a person is with their life also impacts their romantic relationships. Research shows that couples who have high life satisfaction show more initiative and are happier. While couples who have lower levels of life satisfaction tend to experience more anxiety and depression.

It’s important to note that self-esteem can increase or decrease throughout one’s life. And although it’s an important part of one’s personality, self-esteem is something that can impact both an individual, as well as a romantic partner. When a partner’s self-esteem is damaged, they tend to lose a part of themselves, which can take an emotional toll on them, and their partner.

Now that we understand a bit more about self-esteem and how it impacts both the individual and the couple, let’s discuss some common factors that can impact your partner’s self-esteem.

Attention and Social Interaction:

When couples are engaging in conversation, it’s important for them to give their full focus and attention to each other. Couples who are good with “attention control”, or simply knowing where and how to give their attention, tend to be more in control of the outcomes of their lives. Additionally, this ability to have good “attention control” is linked with better self-esteem, better life satisfaction, and the ability to shift more easily from negative to positive thoughts. However, if a partner doesn’t give their full attention, it can impact their partner’s self-esteem, perhaps by them having the belief or assumption that they don’t matter. Do your best to give your partner their deserved attention. As you do this, it’s likely to strengthen your relationship and your bond together.

Feelings of Loneliness:

Having high self-esteem may protect against feelings of loneliness. Loneliness can be an experience of social pain. When you don’t have regular and quality social interaction, it can lead to a feeling of loneliness and/or isolation. Having self-esteem can protect you or your partner from these negative feelings of loneliness or isolation. As human beings, it’s important to having quality social interactions. As a couple, participating in social interaction and having conversations that are intentional and engaging for both partners, can often help decrease those feelings of loneliness or isolation. Additionally, other ways to avoid your partner feeling lonely are to check in, spend quality time together, and involve your partner in your life and decisions. Ultimately, having high self-esteem will help individuals have better life satisfaction and less feelings of loneliness.

Social Media:

Social Media can be used as a way to express what’s going on in an individual’s life and sometimes, to show appreciation for one’s partner. Some couples post pictures about their significant other to show appreciation or how important they are in their life. This can often lead to higher satisfaction within their relationship. Yet, the use of social media is not always perfect, and can often either make or break a relationship. Couples who use social media tend to compare their relationship to others, causing a strain on their relationship satisfaction. These comparisons can cause a partner to feel as if they aren’t doing enough, sometimes leading to low levels of self-esteem. Couples that choose to be on social media need to recognize that their relationship is special and different in their own kind of way. It’s important to engage in healthy and open conversation to ensure that couples don’t become overwhelmed with negative experiences because of this comparison. Be open, kind, and encouraging of your partner on and off social media. This will likely help your relationship flourish and help strengthen self-esteem.

Conclusion:

Struggling with self-esteem can often put an emotional strain on the individual, and even the couple as a whole. The quality of a relationship can often by seen through the connection shared, and the gratitude expressed between one another. A partner with lower self-esteem tends to feel less valued or appreciated. So, it’s important to be there for your partner during all aspects of life: the good, bad, or the ugly. As you do this, it’ll help your relationship become safer and more stable. Doing the things discussed in this post will help your relationship to last longer, as well as help support the overall quality and satisfaction of your relationship.

Written by: Yahaira Gaytan and Lauren Andrus