6 Simple Steps for Budgeting with Your Spouse
Has talking about money caused conflict in your relationship? You’re not alone in this! About one-third of people say that they argue with their spouse when talking about finances. Talking about finance is the second leading cause of divorce in America. High amounts of debt and ineffective communication can cause a lot of anxiety and tension within your relationship. It can be hard to talk about finances, and can cause contention in a relationship. Finances can make your marriage so much better if both people are on the same page. Setting goals and having good communication is the key to relationship successes.
The ideal way to start off your marriage is to be debt-free, but this isn’t always an option. If you’re already married and in debt, start making a plan with your spouse to get out of debt. These conversations can be sensitive and difficult, but your honesty, vulnerability and effort will make a difference! They do not need to be long, even five minutes to start out, to start making your way to a better, stronger marriage.
When my husband and I were first married finance was something that was super important to us. We did a lot of research, tried a lot of different ways to manage our money so we could find the perfect fit for us. One of the most important things is to make sure that both of you are doing it together. It should not just be a one person's job. When both people are present and positive communication is happening, it can make for a very positive experience.
When creating a budget together it is important to set goals individually, and as a couple. Goal setting is a great place to start when looking at your finances. Talk about your dreams and desires and what you want to do with your money. Is it being debt free? Saving for your kids' college? Saving for the trip of your life? Saving for retirement? Getting into investing? Buying a house or a car? The list could go on and on. Once you have set your goals as a couple it is time to start budgeting and looking at your money to make those goals become a reality.
So where and how do you start budgeting? Here are 6 simple steps you can take to create a budget. Make sure that both of you are there, present, and ready to be open with one another.
1. Look at your finances together
Sit down together and pull up your bank accounts. Take a look to see where your money is being spent. This is not a time to blame each other for who is spending what, rather a time to practice positive effect communication. If you have debt be sure to talk about it here and during each step make a plan to start paying it off.
2. Look at your monthly income
Knowing how much you are making will help you be able to see how much you have to spend. You never ever want to spend more than your income total. Total the amount that both of you are making.
3. Create a list of monthly expenses
Where do you spend your money? Some categories might be rent/mortgage, food, gas, electricity, any bills, play money, if you have kids you could have a kids category. Take and categorize where you spend your money. We like to use a spreadsheet to make it easier. Add together all your monthly expenses.
4. Total monthly income and expenses
Then compare them. Are you spending more or less than you are making? If you are spending more, make a plan together on things you might not need, or how to cut back spending. If you are spending less than your income, discuss what you might like to do with that extra money. It might be saving for something, creating an emergency fund, investing it, paying off debt of any sort.
5. Make adjustments were needed throughout the month
A budget can be flexible. It is there to let you know how much money you can spend, but money can be moved from category to category. It is best to stick pretty close to your monthly budget though.
6. Sit down at the beginning of each month to review it together
It is important to review your budget every month. It is not a one time thing. Set a time at the beginning of each month to review it together. Once you have done this a couple of times, it will be a piece of cake when each month rolls around.
It can be overwhelming to create a budget at first. Take one step at a time. Find a budgeting app to help make this easier on your relationship. There are so many good free ones out there. Don’t feel like you have to do it all at once. Take this time to communicate with your spouse about your finances. If it gets heated take a break and come back to it. Talking about your finances and creating a budget together is going to help your relationship with your spouse exceptionally in the present and in the future.