10 Relationship Checkup Questions

Relationship checkups are for all couples, in every stage of their relationship. Sometimes, when we get caught up in everyday routines, we start living separate lives and get used to the distance in our relationships. A relationship checkup can prevent disconnection and facilitate reconnection.

It's never a bad idea to slow down and get on the same page together!

If you don't know where to start, here are 10 questions you can ask as a couple to check in on your relationship:

It's important to start by talking about what you love about each other and your relationship. Focus on the positive!

1. What am I doing now that you like?

2. What’s one of your favorite traits of mine?

Now it's time to evaluate. Are you satisfied? What's going well? What might be holding you back from feeling content with a certain aspect of your relationship?

3. Are we happy with the way we divide household roles and responsibilities?

4. Are we happy with the frequency and quality of our sexual relationship?

5. How is our friendship? Are we happy with the quality of our emotional and intellectual intimacy?

6. Do we feel securely attached to each other? How can we make sure we are each other's "safe place"?

Now, open yourselves up to constructive criticism. Be gentle when making complaints and suggestions for improvement. Make sure not to criticize (destructively attacking their character, personality, or history), but instead to make actionable complaints that focus on solutions that will help bring you closer.

7. Is there anything I’ve stopped doing that you used to like?

8. Is there anything I do that you'd like me to change?

9. What’s something specific I can do this week to help you feel loved or supported?

10. Do we have any fresh wounds that still need help resolving and healing?

For a more in-depth relationship checkup and helpful recommendations tailored to your relationship, visit The Gottman Institute. The Gottman Relationship Checkup can help you pinpoint your relationship's challenges and challenges and offers specific recommendations for interventions!