By: Naomi Brower, Utah State University Extension associate professor, firstname.lastname@example.org
Expectations are beliefs about the way things will or should be. They come from the
family we grew up in, the relationships we have had and the culture that surrounds
us, such as family traditions, religious or ethnic backgrounds, media, etc. While
we all have expectations, unmet expectations can lead to conflict, frustration and
relationship dissatisfaction. On the other hand, learning to manage these expectations
is one of the keys to healthy relationships. Consider these four tips.
- Identify your expectations as well as those of your loved one. Unspoken expectations and those that you may not even be conscious of are often at
the root of conflict. Take a step back to examine what expectations might exist that
you may not have considered before. Consider the common topics of conflict.
- Be reasonable. Step back and look at your expectations from another perspective. Is it reasonable
for the current situation? Just because you would prefer it or it may have “always
been done that way” doesn’t mean it is the best and most realistic solution for current
- Be clear. Express your preferences using “I” messages and take time to listen to your loved
one’s point of view. We may not always agree with their expectations, but validating
each other’s perspective can set a positive tone for finding a compromise that is
acceptable for both of you.
- Seek for a win-win solution. Remember, if the solution is not win-win, everyone loses. If a win-win solution does
not seem possible, find a way to equally compromise or take turns compromising. Be
sure to get back together after an agreed-upon time to evaluate, discuss and make
adjustments, if needed.
While unmet expectations create frustration and conflict, following these four tips can help provide opportunities to grow closer and build happier and healthier relationships.
Learn more ways to strengthen your relationships at www.relationships.usu.edu.
Small Business Development Center Helps Guide Rural Utah Software Company
After selling a tech company in Denver, he and his wife, Melissa, decided to semi retire by moving with their three sons to Garden City, Utah, to be near family. That was 11 years ago, and not only did his retirement not happen, but he became mayor of Garden City for two terms and started five new companies. Not exactly the life of leisure he had planned, but with his engrained entrepreneurial spirit, it was a perfect fit for him.Read More
Seven Tips for Container Gardens that Thrill, Fill and Spill
Container gardening has become popular as planting areas in the landscape have become smaller. Some containers are used to grow vegetables or specimen shrubs, while others display a beautiful splash of color. For thrilling container gardens, consider these tips.Read More
USU Extension Issues Codling Moth Advisory for Cache County
Utah State University Extension in Cache County issues a fruit pest advisory for codling moth this weekend, June 1-3. The codling moth, which affects apples and pears by causing wormy fruit, is one of Utah's most troublesome insect pests. It damages fruit by tunneling in to feed on the developing seeds; and since most backyard growers are not keen on having that extra protein in their fruit, it is important to know when and how to take action.Read More