July 8, 2021

Simple Ways to Cheer Up the Lonely

By Abby Jo Robertson, Intern & Christina Pay, Extension Assistant Professor

girl looking out the window

Feeling lonely is a concept that most of us understand. Everyone has felt lonely at some point, and everyone knows what it feels like. Loneliness is a worldwide problem for adult populations (Yanguas, 2018). The effects of loneliness can be detrimental in a variety of ways. In fact, studies have shown that some side effects of loneliness include: heart disease, lung disease, cardiovascular disease, hypertension, atherosclerosis, strokes, and metabolic disorders” (Yanguas, 2018).

There are many different things that cause people to experience loneliness, including the idea that they do not fit in, the death of a loved one, illness, family troubles, etc. It is important to make sure that we do not discount these feelings, and make them feel like their problems are not important, because they are. (Beuermann-King, 2020).

It is important that we help our loved ones from feeling lonely, and even though some external factors (like the COVID-19 Pandemic) may not allow us to see them in person, there are many different ways that we can make sure that the people we love know that we love and care about them. Some ways to do this include:

  1. Suprise Them One of the perfect ways to let your loved ones know that they are not alone is by sending or giving them a surprise. Whether you write them a card, give them a gift, or something else, a surprise is the perfect way to let them know that you are thinking of them! Within the gift you can write down all the reasons why you think that person is incredible, some funny jokes, etc. Whatever you think will make them feel special is the perfect surprise for them (Sharpe, 2020).
  2. Help Them Think of Happier Thoughts “When you want to cheer someone up, it’s essential to help them recognize their thought process” (Sharpe, 2020). People who are lonely are constantly thinking about all the negative things in their lives, and not really focusing on the positive things. While it is important to let them talk about what is bothering them, we must also help them remember all of the good things in life. According to Rachel Sharpe, “people tend to hear negativity louder than positivity” (Sharpe, 2020). We must remind them of all the good things in life, and one way we can do that is by reminding them of happy memories.
  3. Tell Them You Love Them It might sound simple, but simply telling them you love them can make a world of difference. There are many different ways to tell someone that you love them, but simply saying those words is just as impactful (Sharpe, 2020).
  4. Hear Them Out “Sometimes the best way to cheer someone up is to simply listen to them” (Sharpe, 2020). Letting people vent and get their feelings out into the open just might do the trick and help them. Other times, it might help you understand what they are going through and get the help that they need. It’s important to note that you should avoid giving advice, and simply listen to them (Sharpe, 2020).
  5. Visit Them Whether you invite them over to your house, out to lunch, or you visit them, this gesture can mean the world to them. If someone is stuck in their house all the time, invite them out to lunch or your place to give them a change of scenery. Taking time out of your day to spend time with them is a very meaningful gesture (Sharpe, 2020).
  6. Spend Time With Animals Whether that person has a pet, wants one, or just wants to be around an animal, this is the perfect opportunity to let them meet one. Try to find someone with a pet, or find a place where you can both volunteer! Animals always seem to cheer people up, and spending time with one will help bring feelings of joy to that person. Who knows, maybe that person will walk away with the perfect companion!
  7. Clean Up While it may seem like a daunting task, cleaning up is something that can easily boost someone's mood and distract them. Helping someone clean up their house is also a win-win, because they get to interact with someone and get to clean up their space, (Apartment Guide Editorial Team, 2018).
  8. Listen to Music Studies from the Society for Education, Music, and Psychology Research have shown that music may reduce loneliness and act as a social surrogate (Schafer, 2020). Some listeners even say that music helps them feel understood, emotionally supported, and less lonely when the lyrics of a song apply to their lives (Schafer, 2020). Music has the potential to lift someone's mood, and it’s important that everyone has access to something that makes them feel comfortable.

While it is important to help those who feel lonley, we must always remember that our own mental health is just as important. If you feel that you cannot aid someone in a way that is effective to them, help them find someone who can assist with their needs. If you are concerned that someone you care about is thinking about harming themselves, you can call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK for guidance.

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