How To Stay Positive

By Catherine Hansen, Extension Assistant Professor

Each February my family watches the movie Groundhog Day to celebrate the holiday.  Even though it has been a few months since Groundhog Day, I am reminded of a quote from the character Gus to the main character, Phil Connors, who is reliving the same day over and over.  The quote goes like this, “I peg you as a glass half empty kind of guy…” (Groundhog Day, 1993).  After many repeated days of being a “glass half empty kind of guy” Phil Connors is finally able to catch the vision of what he needed to do to see the world differently and move on from repeating the day over and over. 

 If you consider yourself a glass half empty kind of person, I have good news!  Research shows there are ways you can train yourself to see challenges in a positive way (Davis, 2018). We can accomplish this in some of our daily activities such as I experienced while fixing and painting walls in a home that is almost 100 years old.  Those walls have seen a lot of wear and tear as well as many layers of paint.  I happened to be listening to a book about decluttering as I was doing the seemingly endless repairs.  Just as my pessimism was peaking and I was ready to tear the house down, the author said to look at what you have and thank it for what it has done for you (Kondo, 2014).  I decided to try it.  I am happy to report my pessimistic outlook changed immediately to a positive one just by changing my thought process.

So, what can you do to stay positive or increase positivity in your life?

1.  Practice Gratitude.  If this is the only tip you use, it can make a big difference in your life and the lives of those around you.  If your spouse, child, or roommate loads the dishwasher but it isn’t loaded they way you do it, simply thank them for doing the dishes instead of pointing out the problem with the loading.  Studies show stress can be reduced, self-esteem and resilience improved by practicing gratitude (Santos-Longhurst 2019)
2. Use positive self-talk.  It is easy to have negative thoughts about ourselves- especially when we are struggling to learn something new.  When negative self-talk pops in our minds-stop and ask yourself, “would I say this to my best friend” (Mayo clinic staff).  Usually the answer is no and if you wouldn’t say it to our best friend you shouldn’t say it to yourself.  Reframe your negative thought from “I can’t do this” to “I haven’t yet mastered this” or “I’ll give it another try” (Positive Thinking, 2022).
3. Look at failure as the opportunity to learn.  We all make mistakes.  Use the mistakes as learning opportunities.  Thomas Edison, in reference to the light bulb, is quoted as saying, “I have not failed 700 times-I’ve succeeded in proving 700 ways how not to build a lightbulb” (Ferlazzo, 2011)
4. Look for the good.  When you start getting frustrated or irritated take a moment to find the good or the positive.  The proverbial saying, “every cloud has a silver lining” (Milton, 1634, Hall 1840) can help remind us not to tear down the house.

References:

Davis, Tchiki Ph.D 2018  ‘Think positive: 11 ways to boost positive thinking’, 6 March 2018, accessed 9 May, 2022 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201803/think-positive-11-ways-boost-positive-thinking

Ferlazzo, Larry 2011, “What is the accurate Edison quote on learning from failure”, edublogs, 11 June 2011, accessed 10 May 2022 https://larryferlazzo.edublogs.org/2011/06/11/what-is-the-accurate-edison-quote-on-learning-from-failure/

Kondo, Marie, The lifechanging Magic of tidying up, 2014, Clarkson Potter/TenSpeed
Milton, John 1634 Comus:  A mask presented at Ludlow castle and Hall, Mrs. S 1840, Marian; or a young maid’s fortune’s https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/every-cloud-has-a-silver-lining.html

Positive thinking: Stop negative self-talk to reduce stress, 2022, accessed 9 May 2022 https://www.mayoclinic.org

Rubin, Danny, Groundhog Day, Columbia Pictures 1993, Rubin, Danny and Ramis, Harold screenplay

Santos-Longhurst, Adrienne 2019, ‘Benefits of thinking positively, and how to do it’, Healthline 21 February 2019, accessed 9 May, 2022, https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-think-positive#tips