Give Me 5 to S.T.A.R.T. to Improve Lives
By Dr. Dave Schramm, Family Life Extension Specialist, Utah State University
Countless individuals are suffering from mental health challenges. The COVID-19 pandemic only increased the struggles and stress for many people, couples, and families. Many wonder what they can do to help lift and strengthen themselves and those who carry heavy burdens. Using the acronym START, here are five simple tips to improving the lives of those within your reach.
S stands for Smile. One of the easiest things you can do to help those you interact with is to simply smile. Smiling has been shown to be contagious—we are born with brain cells that tend to mirror the emotions and facial expressions of others. When you look someone in the eye and give a genuine smile it often sets up a chain reaction, causing the reward system in our brains to light up, which often results in a smile back.
T stands for Text 2 Before 10. With most teens and adults owning a phone these days, this tip can be easily done several times per week. It’s simple. Send two people you know a text message before 10am. It can be a simple expression of love, gratitude, kindness or just to check in. Think to yourself, “who needs a text from me today?” Then be still—notice the nudges and follow the feelings. A name or a face may come to your mind. Send that person a message, an uplifting quote or video, or ask about going to lunch sometime. You could even schedule a “Text 2” reminder in your phone. When someone is struggling and losing hope, a simple text message letting them know you are thinking about them can make all the difference. And expressing appreciation will lift your own spirits and help cultivate a mindset of gratitude!
A stands for Ask and Listen. A wise person once shared that we should treat everyone we meet as if they or a close loved one are experiencing a serious life challenge—and we’ll be right more than half the time. Ask friends, family members and even co-workers how they are really doing. Specific questions could include, “What do you love most about life?” or “What’s the most stressful part of your life right now?” Then listen with your body, face, and ears for understanding. Offer compassion. Respond with love.
R stands for Random Acts of Kindness. When someone is suffering emotionally, one of the best things you can do is perform an act of kindness. It can be simple. Opening a door for someone. Dropping off a favorite snack to a friend or loved one. Helping a neighbor with yardwork. Even a simple note can stir another’s soul. Do good to help others feel good.
T stands for Turn Towards Bids for Connection. Bids for connection are attempts for affection, attention, or anything a person does in hopes of connecting with another person. Those who are struggling may give subtle cues about how they are feeling, with their body language, words, tone, and demeanor. Pay close attention to bids for connection then respond in positive ways. A person may reach out for a hug or give out a long audible deep breath. They may even say things like “I can’t do this anymore” or “You’ll never believe what happened to me today.” Notice these cues as bids for connection. Then respond in positive compassionate ways.
These 5 tips are simple ways you can START to improve the lives of people around you. And without realizing it, these tips often lead to flooding feelings of warmth in your own life. Try one or more of these tips today. It starts with turning outward, noticing others, and responding with your time and attention. Sometimes the small and simple things are just what others are longing for.