Abby's Journal | How I Learned to Embrace Independence and Self-Love
While navigating a relationship, I’ve learned that striking the balance between prioritizing your partner while also prioritizing yourself can be difficult. It can be easy to lose yourself while pursuing another person, and maybe subconsciously considering their happiness over your own. While of course, it is fundamental to build unity with your partner, self-love and independence play significant roles when it comes to keeping your individuality alive and also forming the foundation of a thriving relationship.
How I Keep Independence In A Relationship
Independence within a relationship is most importantly about maintaining a positive and stable sense of self. If issues arise in your relationship, you have a bedrock to sustain yourself and your heart. It acts as a security blanket that will hopefully be able to withstand the test of conflict in relationships, and allow you to come out on top, despite outside factors. Independence in a relationship is, at its core, about recognizing that each of you have your own unique and important sets of qualities, experiences and aspirations that should be equally celebrated and supported by one another. Noticing these things are what makes a healthy and happy relationship. They’ll help contribute to uniting the two of you and bringing each of your unique perspectives to the table.
Keeping up personal boundaries and setting aside time for myself has been key in my own relationships, so that time together feels intentional. I’m then able to show up as my best self and so is my significant other, because we both acknowledge the importance of individuality. This means setting aside time for my own interests and hobbies, having quality solo or self-care time, taking care of my outside friendships and making time for other people that I love. Doing these things allow my mind, my heart, my body and all of my relationships get the care that they deserve. Encouraging independence instills confidence that the two of you have the freedom to grow and evolve as individuals with the support of one another.
Independence will empower the two of you to be self-reliant, and can also help build emotional resilience for when storms arise. Keeping up a strong sense of your identity is so important, because in long-term relationships, it can easily be forgotten. Validation and fulfillment should come from within; when achieved, it is a key ingredient in becoming less dependent on your partner for happiness. This can enhance the quality of your relationship when applied intentionally, and allow partners to build a companionship on true, mutual admiration for one another, rather than just a search for outside validation that may never truly be fulfilling.
My Experience with Self-Love
I believe self-love to be a “prerequisite” for giving and receiving love from a partner. Your well-being is equally as important as your significant other’s! Find things that get you excited about taking care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. This could be a workout that you enjoy, a book that you love, time in nature, going on walks or drives, taking yourself out on solo dates, calling a friend, or seeking therapy or other professional help when needed. Valuing yourself is so critical and brings a very necessary balance to your relationship.
Self love is also about being able to recognize your flaws or areas that might need improvement and being intentional about working on these things, if needed. Without the foundation of self-love and care, people might find it hard to navigate relationships and all the work being someone’s partner entails. The more sense you have for your self-worth, the more you have the tools to build a strong relationship.
It is no overstatement to say that independence and self-love should be the foundation of any good relationship. Independence is the basis of personal growth that will allow you to contribute your unique experiences to the relationship. Self-love makes for emotional and mental strength, so that when challenges present themselves, you better know your worth and how to combat issues that come your way. On top of just being partners, become cheerleaders in each other’s journey! Celebrate self-discovery and growth, of both yourself and your partner. By building a relationship where these things thrive, your relationship will endure and you’ll know just how to enrich yourself and your person.
If you’re looking for more tips and tricks on building a strong relationship, we have more blogs for you! Go check out How to Navigate Attachment Styles Within Your Relationships or Building Trust in Relationships: A Comprehensive Guide to Lasting Connection. Follow our Pinterest page for daily tips on dating, marriage and parenting.
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