9 Daily Actions to Keep the Romantic Spark Alive in Your Relationship
Keeping the romantic spark alive in a relationship takes a lot of fuel. Unfortunately, as life gets busy, we can forget to add daily fuel to our flame and romance can begin to fade. We get so caught up in our day-to-day activities that we sometimes forget the most important aspects of our lives: our spouse or our significant other’s feelings! If you feel that your romantic flame has begun fading or has completely gone out, this blog is for you. We'll be sharing some simple, daily actions you can do to help reignite the romantic spark in your relationship and get that spark back into a roaring flame!
Give Them a Farewell
It is so important that the departure of a loved one is acknowledged. Every time I left my house growing up, and to this day, my mother would give me a goodbye hug and wave to me as I left the driveway. That is a core memory for me and one I hope to continue for my family. You do not have to be as extravagant as waving them off as they drive away, but why not try something? Kiss them goodbye, give them a hug or tell them you love them. Let them know they will be missed! Try and make this a habit and see if it helps bring some romance back into your relationship!
Welcome Them Home
Let your significant other know you are excited to see them, or at the very least, recognize their arrival, when they come home. Who doesn’t love a warm welcome home? It doesn’t always have to be a kiss, or even a hug if you are not feeling touchy that day. A simple hello, some eye contact and a smile can create connection! Find the way you want to welcome your significant other home, make it unique to your relationship, and make it a tradition. Consistency may seem overrated, but you must consistently stoke a fire to keep it burning; romance is no different!
Daily Grateful Entry
One of my husband's love languages is words of affirmation. Unfortunately, I am not particularly good at that love language, yet. An idea that I hope to implement in our relationship, to help him know in words how I appreciate him, is a daily “I love you because...” or “I’m grateful for you because...” journal.
A few months ago, we did this for a bit over text and let me tell you, it was eye-opening. Each morning, we would send each other one reason we loved the other person. This helped when I was a little annoyed at something he did because I was reminded of what really mattered and why I loved him. At the receiving end, it was nice to have a daily, detailed reminder of why I was loved and needed. Saying “I love you” is awesome but sometimes diving deeper into the why of that statement is encouraging!
I think this exercise could be a powerful tool. It is a simple yet meaningful action that can add fuel to the romantic spark! As I mentioned before, I want to do it journal style, but doing it over text is great. Find what works for your relationship and run with it!
Daily Service
I recently received marriage advice that I really liked: “The times our relationship has been the best is when I focus on her needs, and she focuses on mine. We think of the other person before ourselves.”
Go out of your way to do one act of service for your companion every day. You can think of every act of service as a log being placed on a fire. Every time you serve, you are helping brighten your relationship's romantic flame.
Acts of service don’t have to be large; it is the significance behind the action that matters. You could do their chores for the night or fold their laundry. You could clean their car or give them a back massage. This is especially great if your significant other’s love language is acts of service.
I will be the first to admit that I need to work on serving my spouse. I often put my needs and wants over his. However, my husband is incredibly good at serving and I feel extremely loved whenever he does! This is one I want to implement because I have seen firsthand the power acts of service can have for a relationship.
Quality Together Time
It is important that you and your significant other spend time alone together each day. That alone time, if put to good use, can be a great fuel source for your romantic spark. Life is busy, and it can often get away from us if we are not careful. It is vital that we schedule time for our relationship along with everything else we need to get done. Romance, like a flame, needs constant nourishment to burn.
Everyone’s situation is different and alone time will look different for different couples. So, when you can get that one-on-one time, take advantage of it! Use that to genuinely talk and listen to each other. Ask about each other's days, share a funny story, or compliment them for something they did that day! Not only are you getting time with each other, you are showing you care about them by being present and listening. That’s even more fuel for your romantic flame. More fuel means more flame.
Discover Their Love Language and Use It
This is one that can be exceedingly difficult to navigate. My husband and I have different love languages and it is something we have struggled with and are still learning to navigate. However, once you discover them and can use it to your advantage, it’s powerful!
If you already know their love language, awesome! If you don’t, you’re not alone! Healthy Relationships Utah and Utah Marriage Commission have resources to help with your love languages. Once you know what it is, make a goal to do one action a day that fulfills their love language. Whether it's doing the dishes for them, giving them a hug as they leave or surprising them with a love letter, the possibilities are endless.
To you, doing something that is their love language may seem like you are putting wet wood in a fire and trying to make it burn. It’s not what would make you feel loved, and it may feel awkward to you. However, to them it is the very opposite! It’s what makes them feel the most loved. You could be putting some of the best fuel on your romantic flame by discovering their love language and acting on it daily!
Let Them Know They Are On Your Mind
When a friend or family member sends me a sweet text, unexpectedly, it makes my entire day! It means they are thinking about me and took the time to reach out. That’s not always easy in the busy world we live in, so it makes it even more meaningful. If you are trying to bring some romance back into your relationship, try doing one that lets your significant other know you are thinking about them throughout the day.
There are so many ways this can be done! As I mentioned earlier, a sweet, loving, or romantic text during the workday is an easy and simple way to let them know you’re thinking of them. You could stop at the store and get their favorite snack on the way home from work. If you are music people, you could send them a song you heard that day that reminded them of you. The good thing here is you can be as creative and thoughtful as you want! Let them know you think about them even when you are apart!
Have Fun
Make a goal to laugh each day. Laughter is great medicine! When I’m grumpy, one of the ways my husband cheers me up is by making me laugh. It’s a little annoying at first, which is partially why he does it, but in the end, I laugh, and I start to feel better. I really appreciate that quality in him and it’s a top reason I married him. I knew that we would always be able to laugh together.
If you can remember to have fun with each other, the odds of your romantic spark continuing to brighten are high. Laughter, joy and having fun are terrific ways to connect with your partner. Playfully tease each other and make inside jokes that you as a couple can enjoy but no one else would understand! Help each other smile and enjoy the life you are building together. It is a lot easier to love each other when you are having fun!
Take Time For Yourself
If you have ever flown on an airplane, you’ve probably heard the expression, “put your oxygen mask on before helping others.” This relates to relationships as well.
As important as it is to be constantly fueling the romance in our relationships, we need to make sure that mentally and physically, we have the energy to bring that fuel to the fire. By taking time to reenergize yourself, you can come back stronger, ready to help strengthen the romance in your relationship!
If we neglect taking care of ourselves, it can bring regret and anger to a relationship. Making you less inclined to want to put in effort to bring back the spark in your relationship. Remember the importance of taking time for yourself and letting your spouse have their alone time as well.
Thanks for reading along with us! Although we talk about nine daily actions on here, you don’t have to do all nine of them every single day to reignite your romantic spark. Choose one and start from there. If this is going well, then add in another idea. Or, continuously swap out ideas to keep the natural flow of these tasks in-line so they don’t become tiresome. You wouldn’t want your actions to be done in vain repetition! The important thing is a consistent, daily effort is being made to reignite the spark. That daily effort is what will help the spark grow to be the brightest it can be.
Related Resources
How to Bring Back Romance to Your Long-Term Relationship
Expressing Love Beyond Words: 10 Heartfelt Gestures for Your Partner
Developing Understanding and Compassion in Romantic Relationships
Learning Your Spouse's Love Languages
Justin Fague reviewed this article. To reach out, please email healthyrelationships@usu.edu