How to Bring Back Romance to Your Long-Term Relationship
Long-term relationships are something most people desire to have in their lives. The stability it brings, the joy it creates, the happiness it possesses and the comfort of having one person by you is enticing. It’s much better than having multiple short-term relationships where one must have surface-level conversations before ever getting into topics of substance. Then, there’s the whole issue of diving into our personal lives and our past, and sometimes, we get sick of having to explain it over and over again. Long-term relationships bring stability; but it also brings some boredom and repetition.
One thing some couples struggle with is keeping romance alive in their relationship. It’s easy to get into the monotonous routine of our lives and do what makes us feel comfortable: sitting down for a show or movie, scrolling on our phones and cooking the same meals over and over again. What are some ways to bring back the slap-happy, romantic feelings that made you fall in love in the first place? We’ll describe some different ways to bring back romance in your relationship and, spoiler alert, you may have done these earlier in your relationship!
Make A Plan to Have One Date A Month
Did you do this when you first were dating? Possibly! Maybe you only went on coffee dates or cheaper lunch dates. For this, we’re talking about dinner dates. Now these dates don’t have to be the most exquisite, exclusive or expensive dates out there, but it’s a good idea to keep the idea of dating alive in your relationship, even in marriage!
Plan at least one day in the month to go on a date, ideally for dinner. Dinner dates carry a little more prestige in terms of clothing, so make sure to dress nice for each other. One idea for you from my parents and grandparents: always pick at least one of your 12 monthly dates as a fancy restaurant. Spend a little bit more than you normally would and spend the time getting ready for this fancy date.
Plan A Road Trip Together
If you’ve been together for a while, chances are you’ve been on a road trip or at least a long day trip! If this is something you haven’t done before, now’s your chance to do something new. This allows for the two of you to escape somewhere and spend all your time together and more often than not, it requires planning on both of your ends. Divide up all the work that needs to be done and make sure it’s either evenly split or what you both enjoy doing.
A few long day trip ideas to help get you started include spending a long day at the lake or beach. Plan an easy breakfast (or go out), pack your lunches, and plan a dinner date wherever you’re heading. If you’re headed to the beachfront, there are likely many restaurants to choose from. Some lakes may have this, but you might also consider bringing a barbecue style dinner!
If you’re into multi-day trips and camping is more your style, look into free or paid campsites for a long weekend and spend time together hiking, fishing, stargazing, and cooking meals by the fire. Or, if you don’t like slapping bugs and shooing spiders, book a hotel in a state or city you’ve always wanted to visit! Plan those touristy activities you’ve always wanted to do and make sure to stay out late into the evening to maximize your time in this place.
Bring Back Romantic Gestures
When the two of you first started dating, it was filled with small romantic gestures that meant a lot to both of you. This is as simple as him bringing you flowers or a new flowering plant, opening up her car door, bringing her a coffee or other drink at work, and making sure she gets into her house after your date. It’s as simple as her prepping his lunch for work the next day, ensuring your bathroom countertops clean, bringing him baked treats at his job, and asking about his day.
These gestures may seem a little silly to do after a multi-year relationship, but those things you do will show you care and want to make his or her life a little easier! Doing these gestures in any sort of capacity will be noticed by your significant other and they’ll likely look for ways they can return the favor. It’s also good to talk about these things – it shows you care about making your relationship that much better!
Talk About Your Future Together
Making plans for the next month, the next three months, or six months or year may sound scary. But likely, since you’re in a long-term relationship, you’ve at least talked about this already! There are two ways to do this and the way you do it will depend on your relationship! Either bring it up spontaneously while you’re having dinner or cuddling on the couch, or make it an at home “date-night” activity.
This time for talking can be used seriously or playfully, and it’s best to iron out how you’d like to talk about your future. If you’re newly married or engaged, discuss the types of trips you’d like to take over the summer or in the next year in general. Nothing needs to get booked right away, but talking about these points allows you to hear what your significant other wants to do.
If you’ve been dating for a long time but are not engaged or married, discuss if you’d like to be engaged or married! Talk about where you’d like to be in six months or in a year; be sure open yourselves up and be completely honest with yourself and each other
Create A Scrapbook or Photo Book
Are you the sentimental type? Do you like scrolling through photos from when the two of you were first dating? If one or both of you does this consistently, it might be fun to sit down and make a scrapbook or online photo book for print. Having several of these books myself, it’s always fun to turn the pages and reminisce together – and it’s something everyone can do as lengthy, crafty activity, either online or with physical prints and paper cutouts. It's said that nothing beats the physical version of books and for most people, it’s true!
When you create your book, you can choose to do it year-by-year or by the stages in your life. If you’ve been dating for a number of years, you might not want to make a book for each year, but perhaps a book of your dates “through the years” might be the way to go. Luckily, websites like MixBook and Shutterfly exist and can help you organize your photos with the click of a button! Or, go through and design it the way you prefer!
Re-Learn Each Other’s Love Languages
Ahh, the five love languages! Everyone has a sweet spot for at least one of the five languages: words of affirmation, gift giving (and receiving), physical touch, acts of service and quality time. If you already know their love language, then start putting some time and effort into making them feel loved, supported and appreciated! If not, then propose a fun date night where the two of you take online tests together to determine your love languages. Then, once you’ve learned, practice these languages with each other!
Make sure to continue practicing these love languages; don’t let it last a week or two. Make a conscious effort to continuously make your significant other appreciated in the ways they would want. This can get tricky at times, and not everyone has unlimited money or time to put towards gift giving and acts of service, but small gifts or smaller gifts of service will not go unnoticed. Research some ideas for your chosen love language if you’re feeling stumped!
Be Intimate Together
It's been said before and we’ll say it again: being intimate does not have to be innately sexual. Sometimes it does mean this, but being intimate with each other can look different for every single couple. How often do you hug your partner? How often to you kiss their forehead, or cheek? How often do you hold their shoulders or cheeks while staring into their eyes? For that matter, how often do you compliment their features or their style?
Doing these things can increase the heart rate, give both of you butterflies and redevelop intimacy in a relationship that’s maybe lost some of its physical spark. A hug from behind, a dancing twirl in the kitchen, a dip and a kiss; all of these small yet powerful things might’ve existed at one point in your relationship but have disappeared, possibly by accident. If this is missing in your relationship, it might be a sign to bring it back, especially spontaneously!
Having romance in your relationship is crucial to the future of the relationship and losing it could spell disaster. It’s important to continuously work on your relationship with your significant other and these seven ideas are just to get you started. If your ultimate goal is marriage, then keeping romance alive is paramount!
If you’re looking for some ideas on free or inexpensive dates, check out our blog on 39 different date night ideas! Also, make sure you follow our Pinterest page. We update our boards nearly daily with fresh, new pins, so head over there!
We’ll see you on the next one!