185: Why Conflict is A Cry For Safety And How To Respond
Podcast Guest: Kirsten Davidson
June 15th, 2026
Listen to the Show:
In this Episode
What keeps couples emotionally connected through life's challenges? In this episode, therapist Kirsten Davidson shares how vulnerability, curiosity, and self-awareness can transform relationships. Drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, she explains how understanding our emotions, challenging assumptions, and communicating with honesty can help couples move beyond conflict and strengthen lasting connection.
“The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.”
Chapters
0:00 – Meet Kirsten Davidson
1:40 – Relationship journey and inspiration
5:50 – Assumptions damage communication
8:10 – Fears beneath relationship conflict
10:40 – Understanding Internal Family Systems
12:40 – Why metaphors help couples
14:20 – Dialogue over debate
16:05 – Radical honesty creates movement
17:40 – Turning conflict into connection
20:05 – You are not stuck
22:30 – Couples therapy before crisis
26:15 – Advice for newlyweds
29:30 – Understanding protective parts
31:15 – IFS resources and recommendations
32:50 – Vulnerability strengthens marriages
33:45 – Take-home mindfulness practice
Insights
- Kirsten Davidson: Lasting connection begins with the courage to be vulnerable. Notice your emotions as "parts" of yourself—not your whole identity—and approach them with curiosity instead of judgment.
- Liz Hale: We often hurt our own feelings through assumptions and the stories we tell ourselves. Replace assumptions with open, honest conversations.
- Dave Schramm: Invest in yourself and your relationship before problems become overwhelming. Seeking education, resources, or counseling early can strengthen your marriage and keep hope alive.
About Kirsten Davidson
Kirsten Davidson is a Registered Psychotherapist (RP) and the Founder of Mind The Gaps Psychotherapy. She works with adults, couples, and families navigating disconnection, emotional overwhelm, and the patterns that leave them feeling stuck—supporting a shift toward more self-led, connected ways of being.
Her approach is grounded in relational, trauma-informed, and existential theory, with a strong focus on Internal Family Systems (IFS). Rather than focusing solely on symptoms, Kirsten invites a deeper exploration of what lies beneath them—how attachment, emotional patterns, and lived experience shape the way we think, feel, and relate. Her work emphasizes curiosity, compassion, and the possibility of meaningful change.
Beyond the therapy room, Kirsten contributes to broader conversations in mental health through public speaking, community initiatives, and her writing for Psychology Today, where she explores themes of relationships, identity, and personal growth. Her voice offers a thoughtful, reflective lens—encouraging people to move beyond automatic patterns into more conscious, intentional ways of living.
She is also currently working on her first book of poetry, drawn to the same questions she holds in her clinical work—often found in the space between who we are and who we’re becoming.
Kirsten's Resources:
Website: https://mindthegaps.co
Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/mind-the-gaps/id1727652931
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kirsten.davidson/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MindTheGapsPsychotherapy/
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Dr. Dave Schramm:
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale: