184: Why Trying To Be Perfect Can Ruin Your Relationship
Podcast Guest: Andrea Dindinger
June 8th, 2026
Listen to the Show:
In this Episode
Perfection isn’t what creates strong relationships—connection does. In this episode, therapist Andrea Dindinger shares practical tools to help couples break unhealthy relationship patterns, stop repeating painful cycles, and build deeper emotional intimacy. Learn how to recognize relationship “loops,” respond differently during conflict, create shared visions for your future, and strengthen connection through curiosity, grace, and intentional daily habits.
“The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.”
Chapters
0:00 – Andrea’s relationship journey
2:37 – Childhood shaped her mission
6:19 – Understanding relationship loops
9:02 – Using the bookmark technique
12:04 – Always and never traps
16:24 – Becoming the relationship leader
20:32 – The power of STOP
22:10 – Lessons from couples
25:58 – Curiosity before defensiveness
27:12 – What is sexy logistics?
29:50 – Reducing your partner’s mental load
31:21 – The 21-day experiment
36:58 – Breaking generational relationship patterns
39:56 – Creating a shared vision
41:12 – Annual relationship reviews
43:15 – Grace over taking it personally
Insights
- Andrea: When your partner loses their cool, try not to take it personally. Most reactions come from pain, stress, or old wounds. Responding with grace and understanding can transform conflict into connection.
- Liz: The “bookmark” technique is a respectful way to pause conflict without ignoring it. It communicates that the issue matters and will be revisited when both partners are calmer and more prepared to talk.
- Dave: No marriage is perfect—not even for therapists and relationship experts. What strengthens relationships is the willingness to keep learning, seeking resources, and intentionally working to improve
About Andrea Dindinger
Andrea Dindinger is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with more than 20 years of experience helping couples break inherited patterns and build the kind of love they actually want.
Known for her warm, clear, and no-nonsense approach, Andrea helps couples stop repeating what was modeled in childhood and start creating conscious, connected relationships for themselves and the generations watching them. Her work focuses on breaking destructive conflict loops, strengthening emotional safety, and teaching practical tools couples can use immediately.
Andrea has been married, divorced, and remarried for 18 years. As a mother of two, she understands firsthand the messy, beautiful work of showing up differently in love. She draws from both her advanced clinical training in Somatic Therapy and Brainspotting and her lived experience because she hasn’t just studied relationship dynamics, she’s walked them.
She is the creator of Relationship Reboot, her in-depth online course designed to help couples stop fighting on repeat and build trust and emotional safety. She also developed Loop Breaker, a focused, action-oriented course that helps couples break repetitive arguments and reconnect with more ease. Most recently, she launched the 21-Day Reset Experiment, a simple, practical framework that guides couples through one intentional shift each day to interrupt negative patterns and rebuild connection.
Beyond her private practice, Andrea shares grounded, relatable relationship guidance through her Substack newsletter Love Forward, her social platforms including TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook, and media features in People, Parade, HuffPost, and Cosmopolitan.
Whether she’s guiding couples through conflict, helping someone decide whether to stay or go, or offering practical ways to reconnect, Andrea’s mission is always the same: to help people show up more fully for themselves and for the ones they love.
Andrea's Resources:
Website: https://www.andreadindinger.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@andreadindinger
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/andreadindinger/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@therapywithandrea
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndreaDindinger/
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Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale: