Commonly Asked Relationship Questions
You Asked, We Answered!
One of the most wonderful and difficult things to find when dating, is to find someone that you like and who likes you back. From that mutual feeling you can build a healthy relationship that has the potential to grow into a lasting and loving relationship. So what do you do in the meantime?
Recent challenges have encouraged many of us to reflect on what we are most grateful for in life. Cultivating gratitude can lead to tremendous benefits, and not just during times of crisis.
We need to prioritize time for self-care. Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman tells us, “By engaging in proactive self-care, we can create the conditions necessary for deep, mutually fulfilling connections with ourselves, our partners, families, and friends.”
Does it ever feel like your child has pushed your buttons to the point that you are about to lose it? This is a common experience for many parents. When we experience anger, our bodies release adrenaline and our heart rate and blood pressure increase.
This year has thrown many new challenges to parents. Maintaining a routine and helping your family stay stable during this time of chaos can be hard. We’ve gone from knowing when school, ballet and soccer are scheduled to needing to find activities for your children to do, make sure they can get online and participate, and try to maintain some sort of normal. If you are struggling to keep a level of sanity during this time you are not alone.
Healthy relationships require some compromise and negotiation from both partners. While it is often easy to see changes that we think others should make, we can’t force people to change. How we choose to act, however, can inspire changes in others.
One of the greatest essentials of any healthy relationship is good communication. It allows you to express thoughts, feelings and needs to produce a common understanding between persons. If you feel that communication between you and your partner is not up to par, consider applying the following tips for improved relationship quality.
For most of us, communication strategies are something we only think about when facing a conflict (e.g. marital issues, asking for a raise, addressing teens breaking house rules, etc.). However, communication is not just for conflict resolution – it affects every part of our lives. The good news is that you can use fun to create more effective communication within your family.
Readiness to become a couple again isn’t something that just happens. Many relationship experts warn that waiting until the children have moved out is too late to begin enjoying a thriving relationship. To ensure a vibrant and healthy relationship once the nest empties takes time and preparation and should begin long before children leave home.
Difficult conversations about things like money, relationships, or other emotionally-charged topics can be hard to navigate. These situations can come up in our relationships with friends, with family members, and with co-workers. Knowing how to communicate during these times can help you avoid saying something you might regret or wishing you had said it differently.
As human beings, we need relationships in our lives. We have a need to be connected to others, whether it be with family, friends, or a romantic partner. Studies in neuroscience have found “…this is what our brains were wired for: reaching out to and interacting with others” (Greater Good Science Center, 2020). Since we need to connect with others it is important to know how to build and strengthen healthy relationships to meet that need.
This is a great question to ask. Before jumping into the response for this question, take note that author Gary Chapman’s book, the 5 Love Languages, according to recent research, has been understudied. The knowledge may still be very valuable for couples and may help them increase understanding on how to effectively express appreciation, love, and deepen your connection with each other.
According to relationship expert John Gottman "94% if the time, the way a discussion starts determines the way it will end." If conversations start harshly or with criticism- the conversation will end with at least as much tension as it began. In all intimate relationships, there will inevitably be misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Here are three tips to help you create and sustain a loving and nurturing relationship
You may be asking yourself, “How can we possibly vacation during COVID-19?”. Valid question! Allow me to explain.
Can you share ideas on how we, as a couple, can work together on our finances without ending up in an argument?
Money affects every facet of our lives, particularly our relationship with our partner. Marriage.com lists financial stress as the No. 2 reason for divorce among couples. In order to prevent financial stress from damaging your relationship it is important to talk about money with your partner in a positive way
Effective communication can be difficult — pile on stressful events and it can feel impossible to keep your cool when things heat up. When we get stressed and our hearts start racing, the thinking part of our brain shuts down a bit and our emotional brain takes over. When this happens, it becomes difficult to see another person’s perspective and have compassion like we do under normal circumstances. Talking to someone can be a great way to relieve the stress, but you can also add more stress by communicating poorly in the heat of the moment.
While owning a smartphone may be the norm for most teens these days, that doesn’t mean it is a good idea. Smartphones are the primary source that teens utilize to view pornography. Technology has progressed faster than society has figured out how to deal with the collateral damage such as pornography addictions.
With all that is going on, it can be hard to normalcy in family life and find ways to build connections. One way to help with that is 4-H. 4-H is a youth organization which started with the goal of helping children learn new skills.
It’s important that you recognize the need to keep communicating about the little things. Here are a few tips based on John Gottman’s theory of The Sound Relationship House.
Dads play a major role in the development of their children from birth through adulthood. According to one report, “Even from birth, children who have an involved father are more likely to be emotionally secure, be confident to explore their surroundings, and, as they grow older, have better social connections.” (Rosenberg & Wilcox, 2006, p. 12).
The COVID-19 restrictions have wreaked havoc on the daily routines of families and students. These disruptions to activities and schedules can cause a great deal of stress. This means we need extra patience with family and with ourselves as we manage the changes.
Graduations are a time of transition and change, and might even be considered a societal rite of passage. So where does that leave us in the era of social distancing? What do we do when we aren’t allowed to hold graduation parties and ceremonies are being cancelled?
Before children arrive, there is more money, time, and energy for courtship. Throughout the juggling act of parenting some find intimate connections frequency diminished. For my spouse and I parenting, lack of sleep, medical debt, feeding difficulties, sleep regressions, and limited funds for dates, left us with only two resources for meaningful connections: creativity and an understanding of the other’s love language.
If you currently have or previously had a loved one with a mental illness who has refused help, you are not alone. Many others have and continue to ask this question. There can be many different reasons why someone may not want to seek counseling or medication.
One in three people live in blended families. Though I am not a fan of labeling blended families, the term can highlight the unique challenge of finding tolerable ways to blend the lives, experiences, expectations, and dreams of all involved.